Keep Holding On
by brokenboyscout
Summary: When Liz and Ressler are faced with a traumatic experience that physically separates them, Liz will have to work with Tom to finally get back to him. Will they reunite? Or will Liz learn the hard way that she lost the one person she needed the most?
1. Hold On Tight

**This is an idea I had for a while, but only until I started watching The Walking Dead did I ever try and write it. I DO NOT OWN ANY BLACKLIST CHARACTERS. This isn't the usual type of Blacklist story, but I hope you'll like it anyways! Please review, it means a lot and it keeps me wanting to write more. Special thanks to my incredible beta, theblacklister23 for reading this over, and giving me the awesome summary to this story!**

It's been three years since the outbreak. Some experiment gone wrong in a lab across the world. Nobody knew the true story, and nobody ever would. It was almost unbelievable how fast it spread around the world. I've watched the people I love die right in front of me, unable to do anything but run. They died, like most, the worst way possible. Being a feast for the dead that walk. We found a name to call the dead walkers, and we called them roamers.

Although roamers are nightmarish, to say the least, It actually isn't all that hard to kill the disgusting things. You just have to hit them in the brain and they'll drop to the floor. If you hit them elsewhere, say the heart, they'll just walk on with the new wound you gave it. The roamers can only smell, all other senses were gone. Like hearing, seeing, feeling. They were driven by some strange hunger to eat the humans that were left. And sometimes, I wondered, could Tom and I be the only people living?

I always tried not to think like that. Because if that were true, my old coworkers would be dead and gone. I just had to keep hope in my heart that they were all still alive. That He was alive… Before all this happened, I used to be a profiler. I was partnered up with a grumpy but caring top agent of the FBI. His name was Donald Ressler. I wouldn't only call him my partner though, he was my best friend. In fact, when the disease was finally spread here, I was with him. We were out at a bar, drinking some beer after getting Red's latest blacklister. Having easy laughter and smiles despite the situation in our decreasing population.

"Liz… I need to say something." He said after being silent for a minute.

"Sure, Res."

"I want you to know that, when the roamers come to our part of the world, I'll always have your back… I care about you a lot, Liz. I guess that should kinda go without saying." He cleared his throat.

"It should, but I think I needed to hear it. I feel the same about you, Res. I couldn't ask for a better friend. Or partner." I said matter of factly.

"I need to tell you something else though… I think you deserve to know.. Liz, you are…"

Before he could finish what he was saying, Sirens flooded the room and into our ears as we were told to evacuate. I could see the fear flash in his eyes as he looked back up at me. We knew this day would come. What we didn't know is that it would be so quickly. Suddenly we grabbed each other's hand in fear we would be separated. Both our hands were slick with sweat already, but we still held on tightly. As we ran through the crowd of screaming people, we lost our hold on each other. The flow of the crowd carried us away from each other. The screams of others around me drowned out my own. After that, I knew I had to leave. With or without him. It hurt every ounce of me, but I knew he'd be alright. For then, at least. I never saw him again after that. I held onto hope that he was still alive. He was smart… But that didn't mean that the roamers couldn't get to him. Even the smartest people became a part of the large group of the dead that walk, so I pushed the thought to the back of my brain.

I went to my house that night. I needed to get everyone I cared about and leave.

"Dad! Tom!" I remembered screaming. I was stressed from being apart from Ressler, but we had to leave. And we had to leave NOW.

Almost as soon as the names came out of my mouth, I heard the ragged breathing of somebody on the floor. I looked over to the sound and saw Sam, my father, lying on the living room floor with his neck torn open. The blood already soaked the carpet around him. It didn't take me long to see He was choking on his own blood.

"NO! NO! DAD GET UP!" I ran over to him and saw that my whole kitchen was filled with roamers. There was nothing I could do, but it didn't stop me from moving towards him. I was a foot away when I felt myself being dragged. Screaming, I kicked in the air.

"Liz! Liz! It's me. It's Tom. We need to leave!"

I heard while his grip on me got tighter and the tugging harder.

"Tom, my dad!" I screeched over the roamers grunts.

"There's nothing we can do!" He growled in my ear.

The roamers were after us now. I felt utterly hopeless.

"Liz, I will knock you out if I have to. Either way, we're going. Willingly or not."

That's when I found the will to move. I ran as fast as I could, never looking back. I was sickened by the thought of the roamers feasting on my dead dad. The thought alone made me want to give up. But I couldn't… I wouldn't.

Tom pushed me out into our car and we drove far far away. The whole ride, we didn't talk at all. I just looked out the window, not even able to cry. For some odd reason, I wanted to be alone to cry.

Hours into driving, we found a house that had no roamers near or in it. So we decided to stay there for a while. I cried myself to sleep that night. Soaking my pillow with my tears. My throat aching with hurt. Tom was on the complete other side of the room. I had told him I wanted to be alone, and he obeyed my wishes.

Two years since my dad died and I lost Ressler… Two years Tom and I had been on the run. Despite knowing we very well could be some of the few people that lived through this hell, we grew apart, not closer. It was weird. We kept our distance and we weren't comfortable with each other anymore. I couldn't bring myself to ever talk to him about my problems, and he his. Two years it had been like that. At the end of those two years, I woke up to a note beside my bed. Tom was nowhere to be seen. I opened it and my mouth hung agape as I read what Tom scribbled down in his hand writing.

"I can't protect you anymore. We have grown apart and it's like we're invisible from each other. I'm going with my gut, I'm leaving. This is what's best for the both of us. Goodbye, Liz. -Tom"

I never knew I could feel any lonelier. Even though we hadn't really talked much unless necessary, it still felt a little better knowing I wasn't the only living thing in the world.

What I found is that he left me nearly nothing except the note, a blanket and one hand held gun. He took all the tools and other guns, even the car. I couldn't believe he would do this. No matter how far we grew apart. I found that I hated him with a burning passion. It had hurt me that he could just leave me with no back up or protection besides the small pistol.

It's been a year since Tom left, which means that it's been a year since I have had any human contact or communication. It also meant it had been three years since my dad's death and the loss of Ressler.

In that year, I had found my own place to stay. It was safe as far as I was concerned. I would only have to kill one to two roamers a week, which wasn't too bad compared to when I was with Tom. It was even close to a small little store where I would get my toiletries and treats and such. As each day passed, I got used to being alone. I didn't like it, but I was accustomed to it. When I first explored the house, I found some CDs and a CD player. Ever since I found them, I'd play them while I tidied my place up, singing along to it. There was so little happiness I could get from the world and The little CD player saved me from going insane.

Two months later, I was sleeping when I heard a sound outside. I jumped out of bed and got my pistol, getting ready for a roamer. I opened my window and jumped out, my usual routine since I liked to keep the door locked at all times. As I looked around I heard another sound in the trees. I ran silently over to it and raised my gun, getting ready to fire. A head popped up into my line of vision and I realized it wasn't a head that could belong to any roamer. It was breathing… It was blinking…

It was a person.

A real, live, breathing person.

A person I'd never think I would see in my entire life again.

And that person, I soon realized, was the one and only Donald Ressler.


	2. Hope Of a New Beginning

**Kinda upset about the Blacklist finale. It was good, overall, I mean, Ressler is the** _ **Director!**_ **I guess I'm just a bit mad over the Tom/Liz scene… Anyways, Let me know what you think of this chapter! It would mean a lot. Special thanks to my awesome beta, theblacklister23!**

The air from my lungs left with the wind, and I heard the thud of my gun as it dropped to the ground. My whole being began to feel like liquid. I felt that if I stood any longer, I would surely faint. I slid down to my knees as I stared at him. His eyes were on me, huge in alarm as he ran in my direction.

It felt like this was a dream. _It had to be a dream, right_?

"Liz?" He said in excitement when he got over to me. His voice! It made my heart pitter patter in the best way imaginable. It was like a magic spell. Maybe it was because I haven't heard anyone else's voice but my own in a while. I reached out and grabbed him, to make sure this was one hundred percent real. When my small hand felt the warmth of his skin, I couldn't keep the tears in anymore. I broke down in front of him, and he held me to his chest like he did so many years ago. ' _How I've missed this man_.'

"Ressler." I finally breathed out and he snuggles me in closer in response.

"Res you have no idea how much I've missed you."

"Liz I thought you were dead… My God I missed you." He put his hand in my hair in an attempt to soothe me, I'm sure. It didn't work, I was so emotional from this reunion I couldn't think of anything but happiness and relief… I couldn't think of anything but his warm touch and how it made me feel so safe.

So we just sat there with our arms shielded around each other in the soft grass and rough rocks. I couldn't bring myself to stop crying. It was tears of mixed emotions. Loneliness, sadness, happiness and new found hope.

When I thought of hope, I had a question I had been wanting the answer to for a long time.

"Are there others? Are… Our co-workers… Um.. Are they alive?" I swallowed in anticipation as the trail of tears kept coming.

"Red, Dembe, Cooper, Meera, Aram, Samar, and others are at camp." He said while wiping the tears off my face with his rough thumbs. My heart lifted up and I felt even more happy if that could even be possible. Of course Red would be alive! I had to stop myself from happy dancing.

"You have to come back to camp with me, Liz." He pleaded.

"As if I would say no to that!" I chuckled as I got up, wiped the stray tears away, and held out my hand to him. He took it and even after I helped him up, we both didn't attempt to let go.

When I went back through the window, he was confused to say the least but followed me in anyway.

"So, how long have you been living here?" He asked as he looked around the room.

"For little over a year." I said as i got the medium sized hand bag and started stuffing the things I needed in it.

"I've been so alone, Ressler." I said as I lifted the CD player and CDs up so he could see. "This was my only way to stay sane… After I lost you, my father, and when Tom left… I almost went crazy. Tom and I.. We didn't depart in the best of terms. When we were together, we wouldn't even talk to each other…" I blurted out while stuffing the cd stuff in my bag.

I looked into his eyes and could instantly tell he was keeping something from me. He stood there utterly silent.

"You do remember I was a profiler before all this, right?" I said as I gave him a smile. He pretended to be confused about why I had brought that up, so I just kept talking.

"You're hiding something from me."

"No I'm not." He retorted while straightening himself up more.

"Res, just because I haven't seen you for three years doesn't mean I don't remember who you are and how you act. I know you like the back of my hand." I shook my head. I say it because it's true, he is my closest friend.

"Let's just get going, alright?" He sighed in exasperation.

"Fine. But I will get to the bottom of it." I said while nudging his arm with my elbow softly. And the next thing you know, I was wrapped up in his sweet embrace again. I don't think we could help ourselves, maybe it's because I still couldn't believe he was here with me, alive. I rested my head in the crook of his neck as he stroked my hair. We didn't say anything, and we didn't have to. After a few minutes of that, we let go. I finished packing, and I looked around the house that used to keep me shielded from the outside. I was sort of sad that I had to leave it, but now that I had Res, I didn't care where I was. As long as I was by his side. My mind wandered as I thought of all the things that could happen next. He ripped me out of thoughts as I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder as he started to say something.

"You good?"

"Yeah… Ready?" I looked up at him.

"Only when you are." He gave me his signature half smile.

I started walking to the window, taking a last look around my room, and hopped out. I heard Ressler quickly follow.

"So, why did you all the sudden come over here? I've never seen you around here before…. Obviously." I said as I smiled at how dumb I sounded.

"Mmmmm… This is probably the fifth time I've been around here in the past year, actually."

"What! I've been here a whole year and haven't even known that you could be right outside my door? Why didn't you ever look inside the house? At least to see if there could be any supplies you needed?"

"Trust me, Liz, we have plenty of supplies." He chuckled.

"I would've still checked it out." I said as I looped my arm around his.

"So why do you come over here?" I added.

"For the blueberries over there." He nodded in the direction I found him at. _Is he being serious_?

"Wow, I didn't even know blueberries grew over here.. But why would you come all the way out here for… for blueberries?" I said laughing.

"I can't find them anywhere else and they're my favorite. Gee, Liz, I thought you knew me." He chuckled. " oh and I'm guessing you don't leave that house too often?"

"Hell no! Why would I? I had everything I needed in there, no way I would go outside with roamers for no good reason."

"You got a point." He answered.

"Course I do." I said while scooting a half inch closer to him while walking. I was enjoying the warm sun beating down on us, and the comfortable conversation we were having between each other. I sighed, content.

"So, how long of a walk till we get to your side of the camp?" I blurted.

"Far enough, but I have a horse."

"Out of all the things I never expected you to do, including picking berries, riding a horse has to be on the list."

"Beats walking." He said plainly while shrugging.

"Yeah, guess so."

Then he let out a sharp whistle and I heard the sound of galloping and soon enough a brown Clydesdale horse with a silky black mane came out from the shrubs.

"Wait, does the horse know to stay away from roamers?" I said curiously.

"Yeah, the poor thing has had its fair share of seeing his mates go down for dinner. Pretty sure he knows he doesn't want to go out that way."

I frowned and let go of his arm so he could climb onto the horses back. He held his hand out to me to help me up with him and to be honest I was a bit _scared._

"Res, I've never ridden a horse before…"

"Just hold on, Liz. You'll be fine."

"Hold on to what?"

"Me, Keen." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, uh.. Yeah ok." I said as I wrapped my arms around his torso. "Oh and by the way, it's just Liz from now on." I pressed myself closer to his back.

"Hold tight." He said while doing some sort of weird sound that made the horse start running.

"Holy shit, Res." I said while looking around, I seriously felt like I was about to fall off this thing.

"Come on, don't tell me you're scared of riding a horse while you were almost killed numerous times in the FBI." He laughed.

"Oh, shut up."

The steady beat of the horses hooves as it ran along the green lush grass made me feel alive. More alive than I've felt in some time. There were no roamers in sight, it was early morning, and the air was cool and crisp.


	3. From Good to Bad to Worse

**Please review and give me your opinion! It helps me get better at this. Special thanks to my amazing beta, theblacklister23  
**

I already knew that today would be the first good day in three years.

We had a few stops along the way, to refresh the horse. An hour after we left my place, we got to his. It was beautiful there… But there was no house. People that sat around the tall trees that were cascaded along the area started staring. Some got up and walked up closer as Res and I got off the horse. I should've expected this. After all, I was a woman they knew nothing about.

Murmurs and whispers flooded out of the mouths of all the people I saw. Then there was a squeaky voice louder than them all.

"Who is that?" A small boy with brown curly hair asked what everyone was most likely whispering.

"This is my former partner, Elizabeth Keen. She's staying with us." Ressler spoke up above all the commotion. Apparently what Ressler says goes, because nobody argued with him. They just nodded and grew silent while some came out to greet me. From that point, I knew I would like it here.

They were all very nice, and pounded me with questions about myself. Throughout all that, I lost Ressler, but the others made me feel at home so I wasn't too edgy. There were a lot of people.

Well a lot considering I haven't seen so many in one place in a long time. But between all the hellos and nice to meet you's, I remembered that my coworkers were supposed to be here, too. Somebody was in the middle of a story when I rudely got up and left. My heart started to race as I searched for Ressler.

I went the direction I last saw him go, and as I got closer, I heard his voice. From behind a tree I found him talking to a muscular sandy haired man and a brunette woman around a small fire. I hid behind the tree as best as I could, my curiosity getting the best of me, as I listened to the encounter.

"How do you know we can trust her with our people? What if she runs out and takes our weapons and kills some of em? What will happen then? You are the one who gave the speech on how we can't trust just _anybody_ just because there are roamers now." The woman shouted. They were obviously in an argument about me.

"I know her. She's not just anybody. She would never do that." Ressler said while sitting up straighter.

"You never really _know_ anyone." The woman spat. Exactly what Tom said to me once before. The sandy haired man shifted but stayed quiet. Ressler shook his head and grimaced. I could tell he was trying to keep his temper at a minimum.

"I guess we can't trust anyone here, then. Can we?" Ressler's eyes grew dark. "I'm not going to abandon her. She's staying here. So get used to it." He added as he abruptly got up and started to leave.

"So that's it?" The man finally spoke up puffing out his chest. His tone was unkind. I could tell this man and woman didn't like me, not one bit. Ressler stopped and turned in response to the menacing voice.

"That's it." Ressler said firmly, glaring down at the man, challenging him to say another word. The man shrunk down the teensiest bit and kept completely quiet. He tried to play the submissive behavior off by straightening himself back up, but I didn't miss it, and neither did Ressler. Ressler dipped his head in one small nod and turned to leave once again, done with the conversation. I moved the slightest as I felt my foot go numb, and instantly regretted it as a twig broke beneath me.

All three of them got their guns from their holsters in one swift movement. My eyes widened as each finger threatened to pull the trigger. I didn't know what else to do, so I got up and raised my hands in the air.

"Res, it's just me." I whispered as I took a small step forward to reveal myself.

Ressler instantly put his gun away but the other two were hesitant. Ressler looked at them in silent order to put them away and leave.

"Can you trust someone who listens to your conversations without you knowing?" The woman growled as she stalked off. The sandy haired man trailing closely behind her. When I was sure they were far enough away, I looked up into Ressler's eyes. The eyes that were cold moments before now softened… The eyes I knew so well.

"I'm sorry. I was just… Curious. I shouldn't have eaves dropped on you." I said while looking away from him ashamed.

"It's nothing." He said as I took up the courage to look back at him. I searched his eyes to see if he was lying, but found nothing.

I couldn't help but admire his features as the small fire lit up his face. I swallowed. Then the reason I came to find him in the first place popped up in my mind again.

"Uh, so… Where are they?" I didn't have to explain who I was talking about, he already knew.

"They are part of the group that usually gets the food. We set out a group each Saturday. They should be heading back now."

"Good." I said trying to hide my excitement but failed.

"Oh, and Liz?"

"Yeah?"

"There will probably be a bigger surprise once they get back." He said while looking down. He seemed sad to say that, as if that _surprise_ would take me away somehow..

"And what would that be?" I asked curiously.

"Me." I heard a very familiar voice… One I haven't heard in a while. I whipped myself around to find Tom standing there, with all my coworkers and even Red and Dembe. Their hands were full of bags of food. The people I wanted to see for so long were standing just a few feet in front of me…And all I could think was, why would Ressler let Tom stay here if he's the one who abandoned me?

The relief I found in being here resided and a pit of burning hatred replaced it. I was staring at Tom with fists clenched until somebody finally spoke up from the awkward silence.

"SpaghettiOs, anyone?" Red said setting his bag down.

 **Hey guys, I just want you to know that Tom was** _ **not**_ **a spy in my story. ( Although he IS a douche still (Because he abandoned poor Lizzie with little to nothing back in the first chapter) please tell me how I did with this chapter. Much love and thank you for reading!**


	4. Home

**So, it's been a while.. and I'm sorry that I've kept you guys waiting. It's just that every time I read it, it had more and more mistakes. Anyways, this is kind of a filler-chapter with a dash of fluff. I hope you guys like it! The next chapter will be filled with drama… Please review, it means a ton to me and I love to hear responses. Constructive criticism welcome! Special thanks to my wonderful beta, theblacklister23.**

If seeing my long lost friends didn't do the trick, hearing Red's voice did. He made me forget about Tom instantly.

I looked at Red and tears instantly sprang to my eyes.

"Red.." I whispered as I took in the sight of them all. Tom could wait, I needed to make these people my top priority for now. He walked over to me with arms wide open.

"Don't cry, Lizzie, SpaggetiOs isn't exactly my cup of tea, either. But it'll do." He said sarcastically with tears in his eyes as he hugged me.

And suddenly I felt the warmth of another body and then more. Soon enough I was enveloped by people-my friends. If this was another day in the post office, this degree of endearment would've kind of freaked me out… But since it wasn't and we were in some sort of worldwide disease, I never wanted them to stop.

"I'm glad you aren't, uh, dead… agent Keen." I heard Aram say in his normal skittish way. I heard a few chuckles around me and I chuckled myself. In the corner of my eye I saw Meera and Cooper watching from afar wearing radiant smiles.

"It's just Liz from now on." I repeated what I said to Ressler earlier with tears of joy falling out of my eyes. "I missed all of you." I said while the group hug slowly came apart. Red was last to let go of the long lasting hug. He took a few steps back and tilted his head to the side slightly.

"Nice choice on the outfit, Lizzie. The blue really brings out your eyes." I looked down at myself and rolled my eyes good naturedly. Leave it to Red to give fashion advice no matter the situation.

"When you're done chatting up a storm with everyone, come find me. After all, we have our own storm to brew." He said before turning to leave. While he sauntered off, I saw that Tom had been standing behind him staring. I made it as clear to Tom as possible with facial expression that I wanted him away from me for the night. (Hey, if it wasn't for the greater good, I would want him away from me forever) Anyways, whatever I wanted to talk to him about could wait for another day when I actually cared. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I glanced in the direction, finding that it was Ressler's. I knew by his quizzical look what he was thinking-' _why are you avoiding your husband_?' And I just shook my head. That's when the lightbulb went off in my head. I knew that Ressler was never told that Tom abandoned me… Tom never said anything about it… (Why would he if it would make him look bad?) I should've known that… I mean, it should be kinda obvious that Ressler would never let somebody in his group who did that to me… If not anyone else. Right? I dragged my eyes away from Ressler and back to Tom. With a final death look upon him, I turned and left. I skipped "chatting up storms with everyone" and went to go find Red again.

As I walked, people came out from their tents from all directions of the camp. Probably hearing the chatter of the hungry people outside. Some people came from the thicker part of the woods with branches of various sizes in their hands. They threw them in the fire one by one and I watched as it got considerably larger. I saw Samar, Aram, and another girl- I believe she told me her name was Olivia- starting to open the cans of soup with a hand held can opener. Then they took the paper label off the can and set them near enough to the fire to be cooked. I looked around and estimated how many people were here- about 30 of them, more or less. Many people were scattered around close to the fire sitting and talking about their day. I found Red sitting next to Dembe and took a spot close to them.

"Lizzie, where have you been all these years?" Red asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Just… Around." I didn't want to go in to detail or we'd be sitting there talking about that for hours.

"Do you realize how long we have been searching for you? Do you have any idea? All of my resources are dead to my knowledge… The only exception is Dembe and Kate. I thought that you may have… Died as well." He choked out, so unlike himself.

"Mr. Kaplan?" I said in attempt to rid him of thinking himself into sadness. " I haven't seen her." I said scrunching my eyebrows together slightly.

"She prefers to keep to herself. She's around here somewhere…" He replied sounding more like himself. In between the fifteen minutes together, he told me a handful of crazy stories. We had so much to catch up on it was kind of frightening. I was telling him about the tragic death of my father when I felt somebody plop down beside me. I turned expecting to see the face of my partner, but it was Tom.

"Liz…" He said while reaching out to touch my arm. I snatched it away just before he could put a finger on me.

"What the hell do you want?" I snarled.

"I want to talk." He said as he swallowed. His close proximity started to make me feel queasy and dizzy- not in a good way. I got up, giving him a look of fury.

"I'll write you a note when I'm ready to talk." I said bitterly remembering when he had left me with nothing but a note and a hand gun. I turned, deciding on ignoring Red's confused look, and planned on sitting next to Aram and Samar or Meera. I scanned the area and my eyes settled on Ressler. He was sitting with him arms resting on his knee caps in a somewhat grassy area near the fire. He looked up and gave me a small smile when he heard me coming towards him. I sat down an inch away from him, clearly pissed. His face was etched in concern as he looked from me to Tom.

"Liz, what's wrong?"

I puffed out a long suffering sigh and contemplated on whether or not I should tell him. I chose telling him. He's my best friend, after all.

"You know how I said we didn't part in the best of terms earlier?" I asked while glancing up at him. He nodded.

"Well, he abandoned me a year back." I cleared my throat before continuing. "He took everything and just left me… With a note." I looked at him again and saw his jaw twitch and his fists clench into tight balls.

"I'll have his ass out of here in a blink of an eye." He said coldly while getting ready to get up.

"No." I said sternly. When his fists didn't unclench I put my hand over his. "No, Ressler I don't want that." I said shaking my head. (I mean, maybe I did want Tom to see how I felt, but that wouldn't be right.)

Ressler, let's just forget about this." I saw him tense up even more. "At least for now?" I said squeezing his hand to get his attention and to reassure him. He thought about it a little longer and then slowly nodded his head in agreement. He finally unclenched his larger calloused hand and flipped it over to intertwine with my smaller one. I stifled a gasp at the bold move and my eyes looked around to see if anyone noticed. Then I thought to myself that I didn't care if anyone noticed. Ressler was and is the most important person in my life. If people have a problem with it, they can stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.

I found enough courage to lean over just enough to let my head fall lightly unto his shoulder and I felt his muscles ripple as he turned his head to look down at me. He let go of my hand and I immediately craved for him to grab it again. Instead, he snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I closed my eyes and breathed in his familiar musky scent.

We sat in an easy silence, listening to the chatter around us until we heard the light 'pop pop' of the bubbles giving us a sign that the meatball soup was ready. Melissa and Helen, the two little sisters, came and passed out plastic spoons and a can of soup to every two people. Ressler detached from each other and split a can. Then suddenly he spoke up.

"What was it like to be out there alone?" He said while putting a spoonful of soup into his mouth.

"Terrifying." I said looking down. It was really the only word that could describe it that I could think of. Maybe I could add in a few other choice words, but I liked to keep things simple.

"Kind of like the prospect of living without me?" He stated and chuckled with a small smile. I slapped him good naturally on the chest with a smile of my own.

"Honestly, that was the worst part. Because it did happen… And I thought I'd have to for the rest of my life." I said looking down, suddenly serious.

"It couldn't have been that bad" He stated still messing with me, but I knew he wanted a straight up answer.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, smile still intact.

"Losing you…" I said sighing before going on. "Was the worst experience in my life." I looked up, smile now gone, hoping he wouldn't get the wrong idea. He just looked back at me with a grimace as his eyes dropped low for effect.

"I'll second that." He said almost to himself as he put another spoonful of SpaghettiOs into his mouth. Some of the tomato sauce dripped down his chin and I reached over and swiped it off with my thumb, laughing. A smile- a real, genuine smile- graced his features, curling the ends of his lips, showing off his white teeth. I tried focusing on just his eyes, but the air around us changed from playful to… Something else…and I caught myself stealing glances of his rosy pink lips and just how full they were. The smiles on both our faces disappeared- not because we weren't happy- but because we were scared of what could happen next. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw his eyes doing the same as mine, stealing glances at my lips. I swallowed hard as I silently told myself to keep it together.

I reluctantly snapped back into reality when I heard the footsteps of a few people coming towards us. I looked up to see Aram, Samar (was it just me or do they do everything together?) and Meera with two men and one woman whom I haven't yet met. They gave us smiles as they sat with us, forming a small circle of bodies.

"Liz, this is Conner, Aaron, and Cadence."Aram- who was never really a social butterfly- said referring to the three people I've never met. He then turned his head to the others. "Guys, this is Liz." He said gesturing to me. I smiled in greeting as one of the them, a toned, tan skinned man with dark hair offered me his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Liz. I'm Aaron." He said with a Cheshire cat smile and deep dimples. He brought my hand up to his lips and pressed a light peck on my knuckles. And, gosh, I'd be lying if I were to say I didn't blush.

" and I'm Conner, nice to meet you." The other man, who was just as toned, but with lighter hair and skin said as he took my hand and did the same. Wow, did I just blush again?

"And I'm Cadence." The strawberry haired skinny built woman said cheerily with a bright smile. They all seemed like a nice bunch- not only their looks. (They could all three be easily defined as models)

"We just wanted to come over here and catch up a bit." Meera said referring to herself, Aram and Samar with her thick accent.

"And we," Cadence said while pointing to herself, Aaron, and Conner. "Wanted to meet you."

I smiled at them as I started to relax even more, asking a bunch of questions. They shot some back at me. We were all having a good time, even the people I just met were laughing with us as if they knew me for years. And If you listened _really_ closely, you could even hear Ressler give in a few chuckles here and there. I listened to the cool breeze rustle the tress leaves…To the horses whinny and snort… To Ressler's steady heartbeat. I leaned into my partner as he uncharacteristically wrapped me into his arms. I started relaxing, finding his warmth comforting. This was what home felt like. And I hadn't realized how much I've missed it until now.


	5. Where the Heart Is

**Special thanks to my beta reader, theblacklister23. (check out her stories… they are AWESOME.) Sorry it took me so long to update. Life got in the way and to be completely honest, I got a little lazy. Anyways, love you guys! Please review and give me opinions. It keeps me wanting to write more.**

 **I DO NOT own any characters from "The Blacklist"**

It was around eleven o'clock at night -at least that's what I guessed- when everyone started to get up from where they were and go to bed -or more like tents. Ressler and I had chosen to stick together, without it having to be said. We both got up and said goodbye to our friends, thanking them for their time. I heard Ressler from where I was waiting for him talking about who was to take watch since he apparently wasn't going to tonight. I saw a smirk crawl up on Conner's face as he looked from me to Ressler with eyebrows raised. My mouth hung slightly open as I giggled at what Conner was most likely assuming why Ressler wasn't going to take watch. I shook my head at him as he came towards me with Ressler trailing behind him.

"Knew it." He said with a wink and a loud burst of laughter. "And make sure you guys aren't too loud about it. Wouldn't wanna attract any more roamers over here." He said while walking away, trying to contain another fit of laughter.

"Far as we know, roamers can only smell." I yelled back at him in jest. I heard him chuckle as he walked farther away.

"What was that about?" I heard Ressler say as he settled himself close by my side. I just looked at him and chuckled. _He was so clueless sometimes_.

As I walked beside my former partner I looked around and saw groups of four go into their assigned tents… I'm guessing they were assigned at least, or maybe they got to choose who to be with? The rules around here I still had yet to learn.

"Res." I said getting his attention. He looked at me but didn't say anything, silently telling me to go on.

"Where are we going?"

"My tent."

"Who else shares the tent with you?"

"Nobody." He said still looking straight forward. Oh. Well that changes things.

"Oh, uh… Well where am I supposed to go?" I said confused. Did he not want me to intrude in his private space? Did he even want me to follow him?

"My tent." He said as if it were obvious.

"I'm supposed to go… In your tent?"

"Yes." He said dryly.

"But you just said that you don't share your tent with anybody." I said more confused than ever. He sighed heavily, getting annoyed at my confusion.

"Liz, you aren't just anybody." He said raising one eyebrow up at me. "Plus, I wouldn't want you sharing with anyone else. At least I know if you're with me I can protect you." He said while picking up the pace. _And why did my heart have a mini attack when I heard that_?

I jogged a few steps to catch up with him until finally we got to his tent. It had a few small holes and gashes in it, but so did all the other ones. I followed closely behind him as he unzipped the tent and went inside. Then I realized that there was only one sleeping bag and pillow. My stuff was already set inside and I wondered how it even got there.

"You can take that one. We've got more in the supplies truck." I heard Ressler say. I nodded and he climbed back out of the tent to go get another sleeping bag. I walked over to my stuff and grabbed my small circular battery-run CD player and pressed play wondering how long it was that Ressler went without listening to music. Maybe it wasn't that big a deal but I just wanted to remind him somehow of what the world was before this.

The music started to play. It was a little scratched which made it sound a little bit jumpy in the beginning, but it was better than nothing. A plus was that it brought back only good memories of my father when I was just a little girl. Sam played it all the time- it was his favorite song. I struck gold when I found the old and battered cd.

" _She packed my bags last night preflight_ …." As the song played all I could see was the memory of my father's bright smile.

"…. _It's lonely out in space on such a timeless flight_." Then I thought about Ressler. Although the new world brought on loneliness, I finally wasn't so alone anymore. We found each other again and I knew he would do anything to protect the whole group.

Ressler jerked me out of my thoughts as he stepped back into our tent. He had his hands full with a sleeping bag and a pillow. I patted the spot next to where I was in my own sleeping bag. He obliged, unraveling and setting out the things next to me.

" _And I think it's gonna be a long, long time till touchdown brings me round again to find: I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh-no-no-no. I'm a rocket man. Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone."_

"Is this Elton John?" I heard Ressler's familiar voice as the song played on.

"Yea." I mumbled. As I snuggled myself more into my sleeping bag. Ressler got into his and looked like a cute burrito. I laughed out loud at my own thoughts, earning a confused look from Ressler.

"Wow. This is one old ass CD." He said shrugging off my sudden laugh.

"Yea." I mumbled again as sleep begun to already take over. My eyes started to droop and I almost had to smack myself to stay awake.

"Haven't listened to music in a while."

"Yea." I had to stop myself from telling Ressler to just be quiet.

"Yup." He said yawning, finally ending the conversation.

I drifted off into a dreamless, peaceful sleep. I haven't slept so well in ages. I have no doubt that it was because my partner was by my side. I've always felt a better sense of security when I was next to him. And all I could think -even in my sleep- was that I was happy. I was so very happy and it hasn't even been a full day with him. I felt safe here, oddly enough. I had hope for the future. What I didn't know is that it would all come crashing down so fast.

We were all only about two hours into sleep when I woke up to someone screaming.

"Ressler! Get up, now!" A man was in our tent- it was the sandy haired man that was always following the brunette woman who hated me. Except this time he wasn't just covered in dirt and grime like we all were… He was covered in blood.

I saw my former partner bolt upright with all means of sleep disappear from his face. And I knew he could hear it too, it would be impossible not to hear the Roamers grunts and moans… And the shouts and screams of the people of our group. By the sound of it, there was a pack... and a huge one at that.

Then as fast as a blink of an eye the roamers piled in. The sandy haired man whipped around and let out a guttural scream as one roamer sunk it's rotten teeth into the skin of his neck. There were already five roamers fully in the already too small tent. More were fighting their way inside.

My heart started beating faster as I realized the dead were blocking us from our only way out. The five roamers that were in the tent feasted on the sandy haired man, not really caring much for us right then.

"Ressler!" I screamed suddenly having an idea, grabbing two pocket knives out the front pocket of my dirty jeans and tossing one to him.

"Cut the tent open. Now!" I ordered and he obeyed. The roamers all seemed to look at me as I screamed. Can they see? The report said they couldn't, but… It also said they couldn't hear. But my scream proved otherwise as their attention went from the man they were digging into on the floor to me.

As the first roamer approached I smashed the pocket knife into the temple of its rotten flesh and the thing sank to the floor, taking my pocket knife with it.

"Shit!" I cursed as I backed away. Two other roamers were closing in on me. Snapping their teeth together and it sounded as if they were growling. Ressler grabbed my arm violently and tugged me to the gash he made in the tent.

"Behind me!" Ressler growled. He was now the only one armed as I left my gun inside the roamer filled tent. Roamers infested the area I just started to call home. I held down my scream that was threatening to escape my throat. I took a sharp intake of breath as the roamers started to come towards us from all sides. The roamers from the tent made their way through the gash that Ressler made.

"Stay behind me." Ressler commanded again. But I wasn't going to listen. I couldn't let him do this alone. I had to find my inner strength and do what I had to do for our survival. I knew I couldn't kill them with just my bare hands (because they needed to be shot or stabbed in the brain, unless I smash their heads into the ground. But that would take a while.) but at least I could knock a few down.

I lunged at the nearest attacker and threw the snarling thing into two others. I looked back and saw that Ressler had found a gun and was starting to shoot. I felt a cold decayed hand try to grab at me and I crashed my elbow into its head. I heard something inside the roamer snap from the impact of my hit as it stumbled backwards. Then it started coming towards me again with its head tilted like nothing happened to it.

I ran and jump kicked it to the ground as another roamer came up behind me. I spun myself as fast as I could and wrapped my hands around its neck and pushed it back into a tree. It's head tried moving towards me to get a bite but I wouldn't let it. I unwrapped one hand from its neck as the other stayed and punched its forehead twice. The pressure of my fist and the tree together was too much for the delicate bones and it went limp. I heard a two gun shots close to me and what brought it slumped dead at my feet. I looked at Ressler who was now dealing with other roamers and rushed over to help him. I grabbed the collar of a roamers tattered clothes and pushed it into the large group of the dead that was focused on us now. It knocked a few other roamers down, effectively tripping more as they weren't smart enough to go around.

"Ressler! Let's go!" I screamed as I saw our group retreating towards us with a hundred or more roamers chasing after them. I grabbed his hand and ran to the cars and horses as our group caught up to us. I let go of Ressler's hand so he could quickly mount the giant Clydesdale horse. He offered his hand to me as he helped me haul myself up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his sturdy torso as soon as I was on. Everyone else was in the cars starting their engines. All except for one.

"Reddington! What the hell are you doing?!" I shrieked. The roamers were catching up to us increasingly fast and there he was looking around like he was lost.

When he heard me call his name he looked up to where I was on the horse and looked to give out a sigh of relief. He suddenly didn't look so lost anymore and made his way to the car that Dembe was driving. But he wasn't fast enough.

"Red! Look out!" I yelped as I clutched onto Ressler. There wasn't anything I could do, I didn't even have a gun. Three roamers approached the man who always wore a fedora and I almost made my way off the horse until Red grabbed one roamer by its neck and lifted it completely off the ground. He looked menacing, and I noticed he was covered in blood… And I couldn't tell if it was his own or someone else's. My heart sank into my stomach as my mind raced to think what could've happened. Dembe was out of the car and racing towards Red with his gun drawn. He shot down the three walkers closest to Red. Including the one he had lifted off the ground from its neck. The roamer he was holding went limp as blood from the gunshot wound splattered all over Red's face. Dembe grabbed Reddinton's arm as he dropped the roamer and ran towards the car, shoving Red into the back seat.

I let out a sigh of relief as I saw that he was safe for the moment. I was still irked at Reddington's little melt down with the roamer. But then again it _was_ Reddington. So I tried to shrug it off.

"Hold on." I heard Ressler say to me as the horse started to move and I did. I held on like he was my lifeline. I pressed my ear in between his shoulder blades and listened to his heart. It was going a little fast from adrenaline, but was his all the same. I snuggled myself as close as I could to him as the cold night air nipped at us. Ressler made his way- or was it our way- to the front of the group, leading them into an unknown direction. The roamers moans and grumbles started to vanish as we went farther and farther away from the camp.

Sleep slowly stole away the last bit of adrenaline I had left. I felt myself slip away a few times, but Ressler kept whispering my name so I wouldn't fall off the giant horse. I had a feeling of loss for the camp even though I hadn't even been there a full day. Then I realized as Ressler straightened his back that he _is_ my home. As they say, home is where the heart is… and Ressler had mine right in the palm of his hands.


	6. First Snow of The Year

**This** _ **was**_ **planned to be put up before Thanksgiving, but time got away from me… like most of the time. This story has lost my interest and inspiration so much. Of course I'm going to ty and add like at least two more chapters but after that, I'm definitely sticking to one-shots for a while.** **Sorry for all those who actually waited for this chapter! I hope you like this somewhat short one. As always, special thank you to my amazing beta theblacklister23! (You should check her stories out btw, they are fantastic.) Please let me know what you think by reviewing, loves! 3**

 **Without further ado….**

It had been a few months since the attack that made us leave the camp. We found a broken down motel and had killed and burned all the roamers in it. Mr. Kaplan was an expert at making it look like there were no roamers here in the first place. She practically made all the blood and body parts disappear into thin air. I couldn't help but notice that it was finally almost peaceful again. There were a lot of roamers close by, but they were easy to kill and we made sure everything was always locked up closed and tight.

I like it here. Every family got their own room. Of course there was no electricity and we couldn't really open the windows in fear it would attract all the roamers within miles; but we had tons of candles. The deadly smell we were so used to almost went away. Of course there would always be a hint of it, but it was better than it ever was. A team would go out every week to find more food and supplies, more times than not I would be a part of it. I liked to go because it made me feel like I wasn't just dead weight. Almost all the women knew how to cook when we got the supplies to do so , except for myself. For that reason I mostly just stuck with the men.

At first, I got my own room and Ressler got his. But I complained so much about it he let me move my bed into his room. It made me feel so much safer just being in the same room with him. Whenever I felt myself going into a mental meltdown, I always looked to him. When he gives me that small nod, telling me he's there for me, my heart slows down to a normal speed and I feel alright again. I can honestly say that it works every time.

Time went by and in turn Tom had left by himself, leaving a note again.

" **You guys don't accept me and I have a feeling you never will. I'm going to leave and see where my journey will take me this time."-Tom.**

I wasn't surprised that he would leave again. I guess that was just his way of handling his problems. All I could do for him was hope he wasn't a roamers next meal.

I was lying in my bed one night unable to stop thinking about my father. It was probably the month of November. At least that's what Mr. Kaplan had said. She was the only one of us who tried to keep track of the days and she always had this journal with her. In our old world, Thanksgiving would be soon… One of my father's favorite holidays. My heart ached thinking of all the old memories with him. I fell asleep with a pang of guilt and sadness in my heart.

The next morning, I look outside to see that it was snowing. Not just the light and watery type, it was the thick and sticky type. I walked out to find Ressler standing by himself looking out into the distance. I walked over to him and put my hand on his back.

"Hey." I said taking my hand from his back and putting it to my side. He nodded his greeting, never looking at me. So, it surprised me when he reached out and took my hand. I looked down and stared at our hands intertwined, the warmth of his slowly taking over the iciness of mine. I looked back up at him but he was still just staring out into nothingness. So, that's what I did too. I wondered suddenly where all the roamers were because there would usually be at least three just right outside since we were closer to a city than the forest. It sucked to have more roamers at all times but the place we had was well worth it, especially in the winter.

I felt him lightly squeeze my hand in his before he let go. I watched as Ressler slowly made it back to the motel and I suddenly got the idea to throw a snowball at him. I grabbed a handful of snow and smashed it together and threw it. Ressler jumped a little as it hit his back and turned to look at me. That's when I threw another. I started laughing uncontrollably when he raced towards me with a half smile on his face.

"Liz, you're gonna get it!" He laughed as he picked me up and spun me around on his shoulders. I couldn't stop laughing. It felt like this was the first time I have ever felt so happy and content.

"Ressler!" I laughed. And that's when he lost his footing and fell. I was flung to his side and we just lied there in the freezing snow laughing. I've never heard Ressler laugh like this, which made me think all the other times he has laughed in front of me were only just halfhearted. Or, maybe …I don't know… it's just because he's more comfortable around me now than ever? I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eye and turned to look at him. My heart stopped when I saw roamers not too far away from him.

"Ressler, get up! Roamers are coming!" I yelped out at him and pushed myself from the ground. We took out our knives and raced towards them, taking all of about five out. Their dark blood spilled out on the snow around them making me shudder. My heart was racing and I scolded myself for even letting my guard down for a few minutes. They weren't even that close to us for me to be this scared… we both knew how to kill them easily. We walked back to the motel looking around us at all times. The moment of pure joy and carelessness gone. I looked at Ressler before we got inside and knew why I had gotten so scared. If he were to die, I might as well be dead too. A world without him is not a world I would want to be in. I didn't want another second to go by without him knowing how I felt. So, when we got inside and sat crisscross by the fire place, I leaned over and kissed him.


End file.
